Inspired #369 - Bar Pandora
Emerging alt-pop project Bar Pandora has just shared her latest single ‘Look at Me’.
The single is the second cut to be shared from Bar Pandora, following on from 'Dear Man' which came out last month and earned the project early support from BBC Radio 6 Music's Amy Lamé.
Bar Pandora is the alt-pop project of Coventry based artist Charlie Tophill. The project owes its name to a literary cafe in La Latina, Madrid, where in 2017 she used to hang out with her friends talking literature, life and feminism over red wine and fizzy sweets. Retrospectively inspired by the empowerment these friendships engendered, Tophill created Bar Pandora in 2021 as a musical project seeking to redress the balance of a life shadowed by self-imposed limitation and baseless inhibition.
Of her new single, Tophill says:
“This song is about the feeling that as a woman you grow up so acutely aware that the world is looking at you and judging you that you begin to feel creatively paralysed by it. It’s a complex thing - but I think back to my years growing up and realise that it was such a powerful invisible force in my life, the involuntary sense of commodity that comes with being in a female body.”
She took a moment to talk to us about the inspirations behind their music.
Who are your top three musical inspirations and why?
Broadcast - A proud brummie introduced me to Broadcast a few years ago and now they're one of my go to favourites. They seemed to have a strong sense of how they wanted to make music and they fought hard for it. Listening to them always makes me want to write because I always think "I wish I'd written this." But I didn't, so I write something else instead.
Sylvan Esso - Sylvan Esso make music through a (literal) marriage of two people from totally different musical backgrounds. I knew of Amelia Meath from Mountain Main, then I saw her performing with Sylvan Esso and it was so different from what I’d seen her do before. As someone who once felt stuck in suspended animation because of outside expectations, having my own expectations defied inspires me. And Sylvan Esso just seem to be having so much fun doing it!
Japanese Breakfast - I think a lot of women can relate to 'the only woman in the band' story. Michelle Zauner was drained and ready to quit music after years of being the sole female writer struggling to find her own voice (or make it heard) in her band. When she sacked it all off and started working by herself on her own project under a new name, she made something that was real to her. I spent years making music with people whose voices seemed to carry more weight in the room than mine did. I always thought "this is bullshit" but then I got into Japanese Breakfast and I thought "I don't have to work like this". So I stopped. I ripped it all up and started a new project under a new name, à la Zauner. No regrets.
Is there a certain film that inspires you and why?
Well, I watched She's The Man twice a couple of weeks back. Vinny Jones has some fun feminist lines which is pretty satisfying. It's probably not the most inspirational film of all time but it did it for me when I was stuck at home with Covid. A more serious answer would be a toss up between Mureal's Wedding and Priscila Queen of the Desert - turns out I really like off-kilter Australian films from 1994. I'm inspired by stories of people who defy judgment and take ownership of the person they want to be. So much of this project is about doing that, and the journey of trying to do that, so that’s something that always gets me.
What city do you find the most inspiring and why?
Madrid! I used to live there and I miss it so much. It's loud and vibrant, it's got loads of arts and a great independent music scene and it's a city built around communal spaces and living life outside the home. I also met loads of people in Madrid who weren't afraid to try. I think in the UK sometimes we're a bit scared to show that we care about something, so we always pretend we're not trying (or we don't try when we want to) and that's so sad! The friends I made in Madrid were all-in kind of people. Madrid inspired me in all ways. BarPandora is named after my favourite hangout spot there.
Who is the most inspiring person to you and why?
That's hard. Loads of people inspire me. I think the highest net inspiration has probably come from Deborah Francis White by acting as a mediator between me and loads of other inspiring people through her podcast. That connection has taught me to question my relationship with myself a lot more, and the meaning in what I do.
What were your inspirations when writing your new track?
The whole Bar Pandora project is about ridding yourself of all the restrictive ideas that you've got stuck on in your life. Not about being totally free from them as it's a constant work in progress, but it's about the process. That's why I wanted to collaborate with someone who works outside of my comfort zone, who would also be working outside of theirs. Simply Dread, my collaborator on the EP, makes jungle music and I've always been in the indy crowd, so this was a collab built on musical differences. That was a huge part of the inspiration.
Look At Me is a track that's very much about that baggage-shedding process too. It’s about the experience of growing up female and how that tangles you up in ways that you have to unpick later. It’s a complex thing - there are so many layers to it - but I think back to my years growing up and realise that it was such a powerful invisible force in my life - the involuntary sense of commodity that comes with being in a female body. Particularly as a musician and performer, I’d get feedback on how I look as often as (sometimes more than) the music. So you develop an acute sense of self-awareness that can be creatively paralysing. And this song is an exploration of that - how you defy it, lean into it, hide behind it and tangle yourself up in it. That's why the song has so many layers of sound and voice going on at points, complementing and contradicting each other. Self-censorship is a complicated business.
How would you like to inspire people?
Things inspire me when they force me to get out of my own head, and stop getting so het up about what other people think. To me inspiration is something that empowers us to act. I'd like to inspire people in that way - to take action heedless of embarrassment. And as I think the best way to inspire is by setting an example, I intend to cheerfully embarrass myself for the rest of my life.
