Track by Track: Xana - 'Tantrums'
Canadian pop powerhouse Xana returns to rip open the pages of her diary in the boldly autobiographical debut album, Tantrums.
An unapologetic expression of emotion, Tantrums boldly takes listeners on a journey of love gone bad with honest vulnerability at the heart of each track. Detailing the tumultuous journey through a toxic relationship, Xana lays bare her inner most thoughts and feelings in what feels like an exercise of catharsis – tackling heartbreak all while maintaining an empowering self-determination. Incorporating themes of LGTBQ romance, female sexuality and self-discovery into her songwriting, Xana has crafted a release packed with timeless anthems, steeped in personal experience.
She took a moment to talk to us about the album - track by track.
i did this all for you!
One day you might think “if I just love them better than everyone else, then they’ll love me back” but that’s not love. That’s mental illness lol.
12 missed calls
I asked my listeners to tell me the things their ex’s had said to them that really stuck in their heads. 99% were awful, mean, haunting things. so I turned them into the intro of this song, because I wanted it to belong to them, as a reminder not to break their backs for anyone.
Once More, With Feeling!
The most painful part about this song is hearing my bruised and battered voice sing “once more, with feeling. maybe this time you’ll mean it.” The words are hopeful, but the delivery is defeated.
Kitchen Light
I bottled up the good days so this feeling could last forever, and in some way or another, so could we.
Love Like This
I wrote this song as an attempt to avoid indulging in the desires I’m singing about. it didn’t work. but I got one hell of a song out of it, and a couple lessons too.
Yellow
Sometimes you just need to leave, even if you don’t want to.
Cupid
This song is so special to me, I had a very unique experience creating it. it’s about discovering who you are, accepting yourself, loving and being loved.
The blue room interlude
The blue room is a place in my imagination where all my future creations live and wait for me to bring them into this world. It felt right to name a lyrical mashup of this entire album after the blue room. and I can’t quite explain it yet, but this song also cracked the door to a new place. Somewhere I’m eager to explore. I’m sure you’ll hear more about it soon.
Complex
Basically, I’m hot and I fuck. what else can i say!
My Therapist Told Me
My therapist (and my mom, and my sister, and my friends, and that stranger in the bathroom of the bar) told me to get over her and I said no! Sue me!
so it’s ur birthday
This song is about waking up on the birthday of someone who isn’t in your life anymore, and you can’t text or call or bake them a cake or ask what their life looks like now that you aren’t in it. So all day, you wonder. (and maybe you do bake a cake, but they don’t ever need to know that, okay? okay).
19
This was the moment I surrendered. I said “hey, I guess we aren’t gonna make it after all. But it’s okay. I love you wherever you are, wherever I am.” yes, I dragged out the ending for as long as I could, but no one can outrun the ending. Not even us.
