Album Review: Ruby Gill - 'I'm gonna die with this frown on my face'
Searching deep into herself and her own behaviours, South African/Australian singer-songwriter Ruby Gill’s debut album ‘I’m gonna die with this frown on my face’ speaks plainly of her inner toxicities with a mastered self-deprecation and awareness.
In the four years since the release of her melancholic hit track, 2018’s ‘Your Mum’, Gill is set to release one of her most thought provoking pieces to date. Exploring themes of unhealthy attractions, loss, and her inner need to be interesting, Ruby Gill has superbly cemented herself as a most impressive singer-songwriter who should be on everyone’s radar.
Her latest release ‘I Forgot To Be Profound Today’ speaks of the expectations of perfectionism within many young adults today. In the lyrics “I don’t want to disappoint you, am I singing out of key? / Have I done enough impressing since the same time last week?” Gill highlights her awareness of her own “internal pressure” to constantly come across as interesting and perfect to onlooking eyes. In this slow, piano led, ballad that seeps with melancholic self-awareness, Gill proves herself right with her rough yet beautiful vocals; proving the fact that in many cases, imperfection can hold just as much character and talent.
Second track ‘Calling Out’ explores the loss of a dying relationship and Gill’s want to keep friendship afloat despite the hardships within. With its acoustic folk inspirations and soft,comforting, vocals that allow the song to lull you into its flow, ‘Calling Out’ is possibly one of the best Gill has released to date.
She sings of a relationship in need of ending, despite the fears that changes such as this can bring about (“Honey, I know it ain’t easy giving up or letting go”), as well as holding accountable their own self sabotaging natures and defence mechanisms. Gill cites her need for someone who can help her confront said defence mechanisms, something this relationship cannot provide (“All my defences come out, lined up like teeth in a 10 year old’s mouth / Waiting for someone to pull them out”).
Title track ‘I’m Gonna Die With This Frown On My Face’ owns more of a bare bones/DIY makeup. With its slow and soft drums and bass led melody, Gill searches within herself and explores her own negative attitudes and behaviours that have long sat within her, as well as her fears of driving others away with said attitudes.
She projects onto others’ issues with lyrics “I know your father instilled in you some kind of fear / You need to learn to walk a little lighter”, but immediately switches to apologies upon realisation that behaviours such as this can result in a change of opinions and attitudes aimed towards her (“Forgive me, love, for bringing you down”).
The final highlight of Ruby Gill’s wonderful debut album is ‘Champion Ruby’, another piano led ballad that explores Gill’s “unhealthy attraction” to individuals who smoke. Within this, however, is a commentary on Gill’s tendency to put potential lovers onto pedestals before love has barely begun (“I thought you were an island”), as well as her want to impress these individuals with traits that may be seen as out of character, such as smoking (“Light me up a cigarette, I’m gonna hold it ironically / I don’t smoke, not even socially”).
It’s easy to see how Ruby Gill’s melancholic lyrical wizardry would leave audiences somewhat on a downer, but to those who share her self-aware acceptance of negative behaviours within themselves, it seems one of Australia's best has hit the nail on the head.
Words by Rae Garvey
